Is It Biblically Okay to Remarry After Divorce?
Divorce for the Christian can be a complicated thing. Is divorce ever allowed? Is it okay to remarry? Let’s turn to the Bible for answers on this sensitive topic.
Click below to listen.
What the Bible has to say about divorce.
1) God hates divorce, and He wants you to stay married.
“For I hate divorce!” says the LORD, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.” Malachi 2:16 (NLT)
“Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”Mark 10:9
2) If your spouse is an unbeliever and he wants to remain married to you- then you stay married.
If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 1 Corinthians 7:12,13
3) If your unbelieving spouse wants to leave then let him leave. God always wants restoration and reconciliation in your marriage, but you only have control over yourself. God has given everybody free will. You can’t force another human being to want to restore the relationship. Let them go and be filled with God’s peace.
But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the Christian husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace. 1 Corinthians 7:15 (NLT)
4) Divorce is allowed if the spouse has committed adultery.
I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.” Matthew 19:9
Perhaps you are considering divorce, but you have no biblical grounds in which to do so? This is what God’s word says about it:
Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. 1 Corinthians 7:10,11
There is great debate in the Christian community about divorce. To read a thorough perspective (and the perspective I hold to) head over to Family Life and read this article from Dennis Rainey.
If there is abuse in the marriage, read this post.
Live a poured out life for Christ,
Jolene Engle
Unfortunately, there are some errors in this post. David Instone-Brewer’s Divorce and Remarriage In The Church demonsrates that there are four, not, one, valid reasons for divorce. Also, recent translations don’t have the “I hate divorce ” language in Malachi.
Everyone quotes Matt. 19:9 as grounds for divorce, often failing to read the first nine verses. When Jesus is asked, “Is there any grounds for divorce?” He answers no! But Jesus, Moses allowed divorce, who are you; your just a carpenter! He goes no to say, divorce is the result of hardness of heart. That is not a good spiritual place to be in! But divorce we will do; so the question, is there grounds to remarry? The question is not are there grounds for divorce? The answer: Yes, if there is adultery! If not, no grounds to remarry!
Thanks for this video on that specific topic as I was married for 12 years due to my spouse commuting adultery and trying for years to make my relationship work with him but after several years I divorced him and I still felt a attached to him like if I needed some sort of evidence thru gods word to set me free if I was doing the right thing after a year later I finally found my answer and as well with reading this verse I now after a couple years am with a man that is truly a blessing . Thankyou and hope you continue doing this videos as they truly help as a reminder or even just a video that can help the lost of where they came from!
I have been married for 20 years now, four children. The oldest is 19 and the youngest is 10. I have been abused emotionally and initially physically though that has stopped. Out of the 20 years of my marriage, my husband has been out of job for 18 years. Every need of the house is my responsibility. All efforts to make him get a job or learn a skill has failed. At one point, he had extramarital affairs, I still stayed with him. All these years because of my children. Two are in the University while the other two are in the secondary school. I feel so frustrated, so angry and so depressed by the weight and demands on me.
I am a believer. But sincerely, I am fed up with the whole situation. I have cried, prayed, fasted for God to touch him but nothing happens. I am considering leaving him. But the thought of starting all over with someone else, learning his likes and dislikes, his person and everything else scares me. I am so tired. Nonetheless, I feel it is better I divorce him and know that I am alone than to have a husband who is completely dependent on me for his meals. While I work myself out trying to take care of the family. Please help me. I don’t want to die and leave my children because they will suffer, yet I am fed up. I write with tears in my eyes
Hi Amanda
I’m so sorry to hear about what you’re going through in your marriage. It must be very hard for you and the children to deal with all this for several years. It in indeed heartbreaking.
I understand that you have prayed and fasted and still there’s no change. Sometimes when this happens, it is advisable to seek help especially from a spiritual counsellor (Not just anybody). A spiritual counsellor will pray with you and guide you on this journey in the way of the Lord. Divorce might not be the solution. Please seek help first. It will also ease the weight of the issues and you will know that you’re not dealing with the issues alone. I will keep you in my prayers. Please hang in there and i pray all goes well with the spiritual counsellor. May God strengthen you. Amen
If there is physical abuse, consider a restraining order with court ordered counseling. Study and practice Romans 12 on overcoming evil.
Thank you.
Hi Amanda,
I’m so sorry to hear all that you’ve been through! Head over to your church for some real life guidance for your situation. You need someone to walk this path with you in real life.
Thank you.
Dear Amanda, VERY sorry you are going through this. I agree with the rest, seek a spiritual counselor you can trust and open up with …even two. If you are not comfortable with your own priest/pastor, seek another. Don’t make hasty decisions in your life. These things take TIME. Praying for you and keep your pretty chin up! Always look up to God for His wisdom and guidance and He will set your paths straight for those who Believe in Him and Honor Him !
Thank you Anita.