When You Struggle to Have Sex Because You’re Insecure with Your Outer Appearance
The idea of showing my body to my man when I’m insecure with my outer appearance is never on the top of my to-do list. And I’m insecure with my outer appearance every day. But, I don’t believe I’m the only wife who feels this way. In fact, I know I’m not. One woman shared with me how she struggles with her body image issues too, and she wants to know what she can do.
Click below to hear my thoughts on this issue.
Scripture References:
Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. 1 Corinthians 6:19, 20
The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Cor. 7:4,5
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Live a poured out life for Christ,
Jolene Engle
Great podcast! I enjoy listening to what you guys have to say. Thank you for keeping it biblical.
i always read your emails. My husband serves our country. He is a man of God and my Hero. I am so thankful that I am blessed to have such an incredible man of both honor and integrity. I am challenged by my own desires selfishly but give them to prayer and ask God to help me to be a more patient supportive wife and trust him.
I spend most every day in prayer, work and volunteering and it would just be so nice to have what I would refer to as “normal” & ” warmth of a human touch versus my nightly pillow”. So thank you Jolene. Your words are inspirational and the holy spirit is working within you for sure . May God Bless you and yours..
What about the “vicious cycle”. I too feel self conscious about my appearance but the main thing for me is lack of desire. I don’t feel “sexy” or interested. When I try to make time to work on my appearance to feel more sexy by working out, buying an outfit, buying makeup, or doing my nails, my husband (who is a good man and great father) makes it apparent that I am wasting time when he would rather I: 1. Keep the house neater 2. Spend more time cooking 3. Work full time rather than part-time to increase family income. 4. Spend less money 5. Do more for the kids (18 and 15. I’m trying to teach them to do own laundry and fix own lunches rather than me do it, especially since one is headed to college in fall) 6. Wants more sex and wishes I would initiate.
So- I end up cleaning, working, wearing yoga pants and staying unhappy with my body (he has never complained about my appearance BTW but also has never been a compliment giver) instead of working on my temple. Then I don’t feel sexy at all. It’s not that I don’t have desire for my husband, he’s added a few pounds but is still handsome and I love him. I just have no desire for sex.
Some background info: I’m a breast cancer survivor- quite a few years ago- no desire since chemo and recommended hysterectomy due to the nature of my cancer. Body image issues also have to do with breasts which can be fixed by prosthetics but more surgery is not likely anytime soon.
PS. If you use my case, please don’t use my name.