Can you remember the time when you were a new bride and you couldn’t wait to serve and please your husband?  Maybe greeting him at the door with a passionate kiss?  Making him his favorite meal?  Wearing your hair a certain way?  Having a sweet spirit?

But then life interrupts our fairy tale romance. The wedding is over. The newness and excitement wear off and our marriage begins.

We start to live in the mundane.  Toilets and laundry need to be cleaned.  Children enter into the world. Bills can’t be paid. Reality strikes our marriage, yet, we want to keep the love and passion alive, but we’re not sure how.

When I was a new bride, my husband encouraged me to serve the Lord and in my doing so, he would be served. I didn’t really understand what he meant by this statement seeing how I had only been saved for about a year and a half.  As he expounded on his thoughts, he shared with me about putting the Lord first in my life, which meant living for the Lord and pleasing Him. As a result of me putting Jesus on the throne of my life, my love for Christ would naturally spill over into my marriage in a way that I could not physically do on my own.

The result: my husband would be served. In laymen’s terms: I could not be the Proverbs 31 woman through my own human strength but only through the power of Christ.

So I have tried to be extremely intentional about putting the Lord on the throne in all aspects of my life, especially in my marriage. In fact, outside of my relationship with Christ, the second most important relationship I have here on earth is the one with my husband… which I consider to be my first ministry.

So my question to you is this: “Who is on the throne in your marriage?”

Is it any of the following?

• Yourself – your dreams, wants, desires
• Your husband, his job, schooling, hobbies
• Your children
• Your family or friends
• Your outside ministries
• Your trials
• Your past

It is so easy for any of these things to become first in our lives, yet, God desires to be first in all areas of our lives, including our marriage.

Yes, our husbands will disappoint us; after all, they are sinners just like us! But don’t look for your husband to be your Savior, reserve that position for Christ alone.

We can always choose to serve ourselves, but in order for a great, Godly marriage to take place, you need to choose to serve the Lord.

“Chose for yourselves this day whom you will serve?” Joshua 24:15

For your marriage to blossom, (rather than wilt or die), you need to take your eyes off of yourself and put them on the Lord.  Let Christ sit in His rightful place in your marriage–His throne.

Things to think on:

Be willing to ask your husband to forgive you for your actions where you tend to put yourself first.

Here are some ideas…

• Perhaps you’ve had a contentious spirit and lack of respect towards him?
• You’ve been unwilling to follow him (biblically submitting to his headship).
• Your discontentment.
• Your frustration with his leadership or lack thereof.
• Your cold shoulder towards him.
• Your lack of physical affection with him.

Just so you know, in my marriage my husband and I are often apologizing to one another because we’re constantly doing selfish, stupid and rude things to each other all the time.

A Godly and glorious marriage needs to have forgiveness at the forefront.

“Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Matthew 7:4

Live a poured out life for Christ,

Jolene Engle

Need some encouragement and guidance in your marriage?  Grab my latest book, Wives of the Bible:  25 Easy Lessons You Can Learn from these Imperfect Women that Will Radically Transform Your Marriage.