Kick Insecurities to the Curb: Learn to Embrace God-Confidence
Whether you’re a single woman or a married one, all of us in some way or another deal with insecurities. I just wish that statement weren’t true, however, that’s just not our reality while we’re living here on planet earth.
Writing this post makes me sad because I know that somewhere out in cyberspace there is someone reading this that is feeling the way I did for many, many years and my heart just breaks for them. That’s not to say that I have mastered my insecurities because I haven’t. From time to time I let the Enemy into my life so he can speak lies to me. It’s like I put a doormat out for him that says, “Welcome.” “Come on in!” This always happens when I’m walking in my flesh rather than my spirit! Sigh!
So today I’d like to kick Ms. Insecurity to the curb because she’s been a part of my life for way too long!
Here’s a snapshot of where Ms. Insecurity and I have traveled through life…
For most of my life Ms. Insecurity was right by my side. I think she was connected to my hip. Seeing how I was given up at birth, that one small thing seemed to tell me who I was. It shaped me. It gave me my sense of self-worth (or lack there of it!). And it didn’t help any that I didn’t feel like I fit in with my adopted family.
Growing up as a kid in my home we had a wall located in our family room that was covered with trophies and plaques displaying one’s achievements and accolades for their athletic abilities. You could find trophies for all of my brothers and even my dad on mom on that wall, but if you looked real close in the midst of all those fine achievements on display, you couldn’t find one that belonged to me. Trust me, I know, I used to look at it all the time! It wasn’t intentional on my family’s part to leave me out of this picture, it’s just what happened.
That wall seemed to define me and every time I walked passed it as I headed to my bedroom this is what it said to me:
You’re not good enough.
You’re not talented enough.
You’ve missed the mark.
You don’t fit in here.
And everybody else is better than you.
Those thoughts were carried over into all other aspects of my life as a teenager and as a young, adult woman. Because I longed to fit in you could just imagine the poor choices that I made during those years. And of course with those poor choices came even more insecurities. If you’ve dealt with insecurities, then you know…
- It’s a painful place.
- It’s a lonely place.
- It’s a place that says you’re willing to do just about anything to be accepted, to fit in, to be loved.
And sometimes Ms. Insecurity says….
- No one likes me.
- I’m not pretty enough.
- I’m not very smart.
- I have nothing to offer to anyone.
- I’ll never measure up.
And underneath all of those layers of insecurity this is what the heart is screaming….
- Will someone love me for me?
- With my personality?
- With all my quirks?
- With all my shortcomings?
- With my lack of character?
- With my imperfect outer appearance?
- With all my baggage?
- With all my sins?
I’d like to think that if you spelled insecurity backwards, it would spell, Satan. We all know that’s not the correct form of spelling in the English language, however, I think that theory makes perfect sense in God’s spiritual language for His kids!
You see, girl, this is what God’s word says about you!
- You are a child of the Maker of the Universe.
- You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
- You are made in the image of God.
- You have been adopted into His family.
- You are a royal priesthood.
- You are an heir to His throne.
- You have the power of the Living God within you.
- You have spiritual gifts handed down to you by the Creator of the Universe.
- You are beautiful in God’s eyes.
- You were made by God and for God.
When you read that list do you feel insecure? I didn’t think so. I know I don’t! Ms. Insecurity is no where to be found.
I love how the Apostle Paul referred to all of his worldly accomplishments as rubbish in Philippians 3:8. And earlier in the passage he said we should have no confidence in the flesh. Hmmm, the self-help guru’s would have a hard time with that concept! And the Bible is pretty clear on how we should view others. We should esteem them as higher than ourselves.
Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Philippians 2:3
Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Philippians 2:3 (NLT)
So we have Insecurity to the left of us and Self-confidence to the right of us. We know that neither of these two positions are of the Lord.
So you might be asking how do you reconcile the two?
Keep these two thoughts in mind when you’re wrestling with your flesh:
- For dealing with insecurities: Search the scriptures and find out who you are in Christ so you can ward off the lies from the Enemy.
- For dealing with self-confidence: Again, seek God’s word so you can find out how to treat others and how to act towards them so you can stay away from being confident in the flesh.
These things will bring you to God-Confidence. Doesn’t that sound so wonderful?
Learning How to Embrace God-Confidence in 3 Simple Steps!
1.Believe in God’s Word.
Therefore, we never stop thanking God that when you received his message from us, you didn’t think of our words as mere human ideas. You accepted what we said as the very word of God—which, of course, it is. And this word continues to work in you who believe. 1 Thessalonians 2:13
2.Think on what is true.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8
3.Take every thought captive.
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5
God created ALL OF US to bring Him glory. He created you so He can use you as His vessel to shine His light into a dark and desperate world. You are needed. You’re unique gifts, talents, and skills, and even your brokenness.
A quick note to my single gals reading this: You may be filled with many insecurities as you’re waiting to meet your Prince Charming. One of the best things you can do before you meet him is lean on and rest in who you are in Christ.
Live a poured out life for Christ,
Jolene
Hi Jolene – such a great post and very timely for me. My greatest insecurity is my worth. I know my worth is in the Lord, but every now and then the enemy sets about proving my lack of worth and it sometimes takes me a while to cotton on to his tricks. I’m adding this post to my Tab on my blog, favourites, so I can always come back to it and others can find it too.
God bless
Tracy
Oh yes, Tracy, the Enemy has a way of tearing us down, doesn’t he? Continue to set your mind on the things of the Lord so you can be filled with knowing who you are in Him!
When I was growing up, my parents constantly praised me and my other 4 sisters for things that we accomplished or physical attractiveness or for intellect, but not really for just being who we are. I know my parents loved us all the best way they knew how, but we were a non-Christian family. So as I grew into a young lady and into womanhood, I relied on my so-called intellect or so-called physical beauty to get me places, but my narcissistic bubble soon popped when I realized that there were others on this universe way better than me in so many areas.
So I tried really hard to measure up to a standard that was set for me early on and I began to fail measurably. When I got lower grades they were ‘surprised’ that I didn’t do better, but yet I was still made to believe that I was still better than everyone else. I was so confused!
I too made some poor choices as I grew into womanhood, trying to find someone, anyone who would just like me for me. I tried really hard to please everyone believing that that was expected of me, and in the process lost my identity. Thank God that He saved me at 24 years old, and I know now that I’m complete in Him and my identity rests in Him.’ He also gave me an amazing husband who loves me for me. He’s always said to me ‘just let me love you.’ But sanctification is a process, but I believe Him and His Word when He says ‘I’m working in you’ and ‘I will complete that which concerns me’. Sorry for such a long comment and thanks for listening. Betty
Betty, thank you so much for sharing your story! I know many will be blessed by hearing what you went through. I am so blessed to hear that you have found your worth in Jesus Christ!
Jolene, I know this is a struggle for SO many women. I pray this excellent post will help them to understand that their worth comes from the Lord… not ANYTHING this world has to offer. If the Lord Himself took the time to create you, and we know that HE does not make any mistakes… then you must be perfect in His sight. I leave you with this…
Psalm 139:13-18 For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. When I awake, I am still with You.
Yes, Jason, sooo many women struggle with this! You are so right about how the world has nothing to offer us. We are complete in Christ Jesus!
Amazing post. Thanks so much.
https://www.memoirsofmeandmine.com/
Wonderful post… please consider linking up to Spiritual Sundays #2 (goes live on Monday 21st May). I would be honoured to have you join me and link this post there.
Wendy @ ECTaS
Hi Jolene,
Thanks for sharing this very personal post that touches on many insecurities that many of us have. And thanks for sharing such great tools/insights and thoughts of dealing with those insecurities. I’m glad you linked this to B&BB.
I’m writing this on a train from Budapest, Hungary to Zagreb, Croatia. I don’t have internet, but I opened up your blog post before the trip so I could read it while traveling. And I’ll paste my comment into a comment box when we arrive. So I’m reading your blog and thinking of you across the globe! And I’m praying you have a blessed week.
Gail, you blessed me tremendously with your words of encouragement. May we all draw closer to the Lord because of our insecurities.
Jolene,
Sadly, my mother saw me as a “threat” to my dad’s love for her. You see, dad left for the Pacific right after Pearl Harbor and never came home until the war ended. They were married a month later and I was born 11 months later, way to soon for my mother to have enough “alone time” with the man she loved so and had waited for those 5 long years during the war. My father adored me and I always knew I was loved by him, my grandparents, but emotional scars run deep as you know. When mom passed on, I did her ulogy, talked about how she cared deeply for others, her family, friends, worked in the church because all that was totally true. It was just me that she rarely could share her love for. At the end of my sharing, I turned toward the casket and HE filled me with such abundant love for my mother, burned away the last remains of unforgiveness in my heart for her unloving ways. Because I wanted so desperately what she could not give, I was a better mother to my own three children them perhaps i would have been otherwise. I told them every single day, they were loved, they were unique in Him, they could be anything they wanted, and they followed their dreams and I am so proud of them. I am proud of you too, for being you and for posting this beautiful testimony to His love for you and all of us who come to Him. Blessings.
Lynn,
Thank you so much for sharing your story. Please know that my heart hurts for what you went through with your mother and I’m blessed to hear how the Lord ministered to you at your mother’s funeral! Thank you for your loving words of encouragement as well!
What a honest post their are so many who can relate to this. Thanks for sharing on the NOBH
Stopping by from SITS. A great encouraging post, I can see this blog is a ministry for you. That’s awesome.