Kick Insecurities to the Curb: Learn to Embrace God-Confidence

Whether you’re a single woman or a married one, all of us in some way or another deal with insecurities.  I just wish that statement weren’t true, however, that’s just not our reality while we’re living here on planet earth.

Writing this post makes me sad because I know that somewhere out in cyberspace there is someone reading this that is feeling the way I did for many, many years and my heart just breaks for them.  That’s not to say that I have mastered my insecurities because I haven’t.  From time to time I let the Enemy into my life so he can speak lies to me.  It’s like I put a doormat out for him that says, “Welcome.”  “Come on in!”  This always happens when I’m walking in my flesh rather than my spirit!  Sigh!

So today I’d like to kick Ms. Insecurity to the curb because she’s been a part of my life for way too long!

Here’s a snapshot of where Ms. Insecurity and I have traveled through life…

For most of my life Ms. Insecurity was right by my side.  I think she was connected to my hip.  Seeing how I was given up at birth, that one small thing seemed to tell me who I was.  It shaped me.  It gave me my sense of self-worth (or lack there of it!).  And it didn’t help any that I didn’t feel like I fit in with my adopted family.

Growing up as a kid in my home we had a wall located in our family room that was covered with trophies and  plaques displaying one’s achievements and accolades for their athletic abilities.  You could find trophies for all of my brothers and even my dad on mom on that wall, but if you looked real close in the midst of all those fine achievements on display, you couldn’t find one that belonged to me.  Trust me, I know, I used to look at it all the time!  It wasn’t intentional on my family’s part to leave me out of this picture, it’s just what happened.

That wall seemed to define me and every time I walked passed it as I headed to my bedroom this is what it said to me:

You’re not good enough.  

You’re not talented enough.

You’ve missed the mark.

You don’t fit in here.

And everybody else is better than you.

Those thoughts were carried over into all other aspects of my life as a teenager and as a young, adult woman.  Because I longed to fit in you could just imagine the poor choices that I made during those years.  And of course with those poor choices came even more insecurities.  If you’ve dealt with insecurities, then you know…

• It’s a painful place.
• It’s a lonely place.
• It’s a place that says you’re willing to do just about anything to be accepted, to fit in, to be loved.

And sometimes Ms. Insecurity says….

• No one likes me.
• I’m not pretty enough.
• I’m not very smart.
• I have nothing to offer to anyone.
• I’ll never measure up.

And underneath all of those layers of insecurity this is what the heart is screaming….

• Will someone love me for me?  
• With my personality?
• With all my quirks?  
• With all my shortcomings?
• With my lack of character?
• With my imperfect outer appearance?
• With all my baggage?  
• With all my sins?

I’d like to think that if you spelled insecurity backwards, it would spell, Satan.  We all know that’s not the correct form of spelling in the English language, however, I think that theory makes perfect sense in God’s spiritual language for His kids!

You see, girl, this is what God’s word says about you!

• You are a child of the Maker of the Universe.
• You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
• You are made in the image of God.
• You have been adopted into His family.
• You are a royal priesthood.
• You are an heir to His throne.
• You have the power of the Living God within you.
• You have spiritual gifts handed down to you by the Creator of the Universe.
• You are beautiful in God’s eyes.
• You were made by God and for God.

When you read that list do you feel insecure?  I didn’t think so.  I know I don’t!  Ms. Insecurity is no where to be found.

But the world says to overcome your insecurities by mustering up a boatload of self-confidence.  In other words, attain all of the accolades and achievements that you can.  And don’t forget to love yourself and build yourself up along the way!  I’m not a fan of the self-confident path because I believe it will lead to pride.  Plus, what the world espouses is contrary to Scripture.  It’s all garbage, filled with emptiness, and lies, friend!

I love how the Apostle Paul referred to all of his worldly accomplishments as rubbish in Philippians 3:8.  And earlier in the passage he said we should have no confidence in the flesh.  Hmmm, the self-help guru’s would have a hard time with that concept!  And the Bible is pretty clear on how we should view others.  We should esteem them as higher than ourselves. 

Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.  Philippians 2:3

I like the New Living Translation of this verse as well, especially the part that says ‘don’t try to impress others.

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.  Philippians 2:3 (NLT)

So we have Insecurity to the left of us and Self-confidence to the right of us.  We know that neither of these two positions are of the Lord.

So you might be asking how do you reconcile the two?

Keep these two thoughts in mind when you’re wrestling with your flesh:

1. For dealing with insecurities: Search the scriptures and find out who you are in Christ so you can ward off the lies from the Enemy.
2. For dealing with self-confidence: Again, seek God’s word so you can find out how to treat others and how to act towards them so you can stay away from being confident in the flesh.

These things will bring you to God-Confidence.  Doesn’t that sound so wonderful?

Learning How to Embrace God-Confidence in 3 Simple Steps!

1.Believe in God’s Word.

Therefore, we never stop thanking God that when you received his message from us, you didn’t think of our words as mere human ideas. You accepted what we said as the very word of God—which, of course, it is. And this word continues to work in you who believe.  1 Thessalonians 2:13

2.Think on what is true.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  Philippians 4:8

3.Take every thought captive.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.  2 Corinthians 10:5

God created ALL OF US to bring Him glory.  He created you so He can use you as His vessel to shine His light into a dark and desperate world.  You are needed.  You’re unique gifts, talents, and skills, and even your brokenness.

A quick note to my single gals reading this:  You may be filled with many insecurities as you’re waiting to meet your Prince Charming.  One of the best things you can do before you meet him is lean on and rest in who you are in Christ.

Live a poured out life for Christ,

Jolene