When You Dont See Eye to Eye with Your Husband1
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When You Don’t See Eye to Eye with Your Husband

In marriage, it’s very common to not see eye to eye with your husband on every issue that’s presented in your life, even if both of you are Believers.  This is the case for this one newlywed wife.

Here’s her story…

Dear Jolene,

My husband just told me yesterday that he wants us to take gun shooting classes so that he can get a permit to have a gun to protect us and our future family. We have only been married since Sept 2012. When he revealed this to me, I became immediately irate, extremely scared, and dismayed by the thought of even having a gun in our home. I kept my internal anger to myself so that I would not allow any corrupt word to come out against my husband. Three weeks ago, both of our cars got broken into, in the middle of the night, so that is why I sensed that he would want a gun. But as we discussed the topic, he stated that the robbery was not the reason, but that he always wanted a gun to protect his family and that he grew up on the farm with his grandfather and his grandfather taught him how to shoot in the woods so he has no fear at all with guns. His reasoning sounded selfish, but I also know that is not my husband’s intentions, he has always been family oriented and he has always done everything in his power from God to protect us thus far. I told him that I am terrified of guns.  My biggest fear is that if we have children, one of them may find the gun and shoot it, killing themselves or someone else in the home!!! We said that we will pray about it and lay out the pros and cons. My question to you Jolene is: have you heard of a situation like this before? And how do I lovingly submit to my husband’s leadership in this area?

~a terrified newlywed

When You Dont See Eye to Eye with Your Husband1

Source

Here’s my response via video.

If you can’t view the video in your reader, click here.

On any issue in marriage, if a husband’s heart motives are pure and he’s not asking you to sin, then biblically you should be submitting to him.  (Of course you should be sharing your heart with him!) And as well, I know that Biblical submission is a hard thing to comprehend, but remember, you are ultimately submitting to God and putting your trust in Him.

Live a poured out life for Christ,

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Wives of the Bible by Jolene Engle

 

Need some encouragement and guidance in your marriage?  Grab my latest book, Wives of the Bible:  25 Easy Lessons You Can Learn from these Imperfect Women that Will Radically Transform Your Marriage.

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12 Comments

  3. Thank you so dearly Jolene!!! I never looked at this area from the view of the Biblical Truth that you gave me. I knew that my husband was not causing me to sin, but I just wanted to know how to address this topic because my heart and spirit were so unsettled and gripped by the fear. I don’t want to parent my husband, I want to love, honor, and joyfully submit to my husband in every way as he follows Christ. Thank you for helping me to understand how to steward my husband’s responsibility to protect us. I am so relived and with utter joy at how you deconstructed my post. I will definitely come at this issue with the advice that you gave me with sincerity and respect and honor for my husband to protect our family in this way. Thank you so much Jolene for letting our Lord use you to speak His truth to help so many women like myself who desire a Christ-centered life after Him. I am richly blessed by your website DAILY. I love you for taking the time to show me how to support my husband in this area.-Grace and Peace from A Un-Terrified Wife

  5. I love your response Jolene! Juzanne, I am guessing you are the one who emailed Jolene, if his motive is to protect you & your family then he will make sure to protect you with the guns in the home as well. That is why he wants to take you to the glasses as well, to teach you what it is like to use the gun and how to protect yourself if need be. Now, before this issue even comes up in your home be talking about it and be praying about it, your kids will need to learn to respect the gun and to use it too. You need to discuss how you both plan to do this and at what age(s). Continue to pray and to talk to your husband about all concerns you may have. I commend you for being so “held together” in the first place with him and for seeking guidance from an older woman!

  6. Hi, I’m just curious and looking for clarification. I just recently realized my own area of not submitting to my husband. Its amazing how easy it was to spot my husbands sin though. We have different views on parenting and though we only have one young child, many disagreements have risen. How do I show respect and submission to him when I disagree and truly feel that the way I parent is a better approach? I am afraid he is too harsh and is expecting way too much from our daughter. I want to respect him and ultimately submit.
    Thank you.

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